Are you ok my baby??

27 07 2010


Quick! Someone get me $2,220 dollars! I need a “take care of my baby donation” Please there has to be someone out there who feels for this poor woman! She became an internet sensation during the World Cup for famously storing her cell phone in her giant breasticles. Little did she know at the time that she also stole my heart. Some trust fund baby out there needs to step it fuck up and transfer money to me ASAP, my baby is in need and needs to be cuddled and told everything will be ok. The money will cover my flights and I’ll take it from there.

My baby aka Larissa Riquelme is in need because yesterday while on vacation in Rio, some bandido assbag decided to rob the yam princess. What a bag of dicks. She lost her infamous cell phone (god I would pay good money to be that cell phone) documents and her passport. Losing a passport overseas is a devastating occurrence and I can only imagine how scared this angel is without her passport in a big strange scary city. That is why I need you assholes to transfer me $2,200 so I can console this angel baby. If I do not get the support I need I will not hesitate to take this directly to Obama as a matter of international security. Mark my words.

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