Oswalt stop tickling our balls!

29 07 2010

Don’t get me wrong, I love have my balls tickled , but only for so long, eventually you gotta man up and stroke the shaft (no homo)

Seriously, your making me think your a huge pussy for not already being in Philadelphia. Hey assbag we have a World Series ring and you haven’t sniffed a W.S. in years, i.e. there should be no, absolutley no mulling this decision over. We are on fire, tearing it up, you will be in a rotation with Roy Halladay and Cole Hamels, ENOUGH FUCKING SAID! It will be the best top 3 pitchers on any roster in any rotation.

Brad Lidge should be on the phone with him right now,

“Hey Roy, it’s Brad”
“Oh Hey Brad, what’s up?”
“Have you noticed that big fucking piece of bling on my finger? Get the fuck up here”
“But I’m so scared of playing in the big bad east coast, the reporters ask the tough questions and I’m not sure if my vagina can handle that”
“Do you want a ring or not?”

End of conversation. Waive the fucking clause and make your debut tomorrow night in Washington on your regular days rest. The fans here will gobble your shit up, we love country bumpkins that work hard. End this cock tease and get the fuck up here to this fine fine city.

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