Donovan McNabb Just Can’t Help Himself

4 08 2011

The Philadelphia Eagles are Donovan McNabb’s ex girlfriend that he just can’t get over.

Donovan is entering his second season “post breakup”, this time with the Minnesota Vikings. The Eagles have been the news of the NFL this off-season.  Naturally Donovan had to say SOMETHING.  He couldn’t stand there seeing his ex-girlfriend get breast implants, lose 2o pounds and not say something (or get a secret boner). Donovan did just that.

“I was there for 11 years, and the biggest thing we brought in was T.O. [Terrell Owens],” said McNabb. “Now they’re getting the so-called ‘Dream Team.’ It’s amazing, but I look back on my career and what they’re doing now … that’s great; that’s excellent. But you’re seeing another side. You’re seeing Andy (coach Andy Reid) taking that chance. It’s not just taking that chance on one guy. They’re taking a chance on a bunch of guys. And they’re spending money. That’s amazing. Ever since the lockout [ended], teams have to spend money.”

Starts right with the “Dream Team” haymaker, coming out swinging.  He might as well said “THOSE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FAKE TITTY IMPLANTS!” and then gone and cried in the corner of the party. Jealousy just oozing off of every word in that statement. Yes you got Terrell Owens and at the time it should have been enough, I mean you had your chance at a Super Bowl. Let’s face facts, you threw up in the fourth quarter of the biggest game of your career.  Those moves the Eagles made were enough, you weren’t. You had a great defense and a sure as shit good enough offense to beat the Patriots, they were begging you to take that game and you didn’t.  So the organization had nothing to do with YOUR shortcomings, you did, and the sooner you realize this the better off you’ll be.

“That’s great, that’s excellent.” What a snarky ass childish comment. Reminds me of Chris Farley’s role as the bus driver in Billy Madison….”Good, great, grand, wonderful!”  Just a bitter as fuck statement from #5. Move on bro.

“You see them and Andy taking these chances” Umm, how exactly signing the best CB in the league taking a chance? Pretty sure he’s as sure a thing as there is in this league.  Getting D.R.C, a former Pro-Bowl CB who is making a measly 1.1 million this season, how exactly is that taking a chance? Signing an absolute beast in the middle, Cullen Jenkins, who won a Super Bowl last year with the Packers, how exactly is that taking a chance? And no they don’t have to spend money until 2013 under the new CBA, so you’re wrong there as well.

“Now they bring in a Cullen Jenkins, and we all know he’s a dominant force. They bring in a Nnamdi Asomugha. You have Rodgers-Cromartie, who is the one they don’t mention the most because they have Asante Samuel, too. The problem is: What do you do with Asante Samuel?

Hey Donovan, ever hear of having a good problem? Yeah having 3 sick CB’s in a passing oriented league is a good problem to have.

“Then, you’ve got to worry about DeSean (Jackson). When he comes back are you going to give DeSean the ball or throw it to (Jeremy) Maclin? Remember, you have to give LeSean McCoy the ball, too. And then at the end you still have to pay Mike Vick. They have more problems than people are looking at.”

Hey Donnie, nothing has changed on the offensive side of the ball (aside from the O line) since last season when everything went just swimmingly.  Remember that explosive offense last year? What’s gonna change? Nothing.  You still have to get the ball to the same 4 people as last year, the only addition is RB Ronnie Brown, who is a “wildcat’ coaches wet dream, he can run, pass, catch and do it all.  Andy Reid is going to have a blast this year and the offense is explosive enough to spread the love around….without you. Get over it, move on, we all know we have.

Yeah dude, your ex girlfriend got fake titties, lost 20 pounds, shaved all her body hair and got sexy as shit.  Sorry you can’t reap those sexy benefits, but we will.  Move on Donny, she broke up with you.

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