A.J. Burnett…What The? Cliff Lee….Pay The Man His Money

10 08 2011

Ice Cream?

Perfect photo to sum up A.J. Burnett’s career as a Yankee….a fucking embarrassment.  Mariano Rivera isn’t the closer of old (he blew a save to Bobby Abreu last night & 5 blown saves on the year). Alex Rodriguez is banging dudes (see Cameron Diaz’s dick) and playing in cocaine fueled high stakes Hollywood poker games where guns are involved.  Yeah, these aren’t the Yankees of old.  The Red Sox are close to running away with the division and the Yankees are going to be in a battle for the wild card….awesome.

Oh the irony of having a shared Cliff Lee-Yankees post.

Cliff Lee last night was the quintessential Cliff Lee. Eight shutout innings, striking out 10 and hitting a crucial HR to seal the victory, the man does it all.  Another thing Lee does well is making bets with teammates.  Cliff Lee apparently had a bet with teammate Kyle Kendrick about who would hit more HR’s this season (why the hell would Kyle Kendrick make this bet?).  Cliff’s 2nd HR of the year pretty much ended that bet last night, since Kendrick isn’t even starting anymore and doesn’t hit HR’s.  As Cliff entered the dugout he made a gesture towards the bullpen, it looked almost like a “make it rain” gesture (who knew Cliff had street cred?).  He was telling Kendrick….”pay me.” Roy Oswalt even picked up the phone to call the bullpen and rub it in Kendrick’s face, but bullpen Mick Billemeyer had to hang up on him to get the Madson/Bastardo duo warmed up.

“I thought of Kyle as soon as the ball went over the right field wall” – Cliff Lee

Pay me Kendrick.


Phillies Crushing The Rubber Ducky Song

10 08 2011

Thanks to MLB.com’s Todd Zolecki for digging up this lil’ Phillies gem.  The reggae “Rubber Ducky” song from Sesame Street, that for the past week has taken over the Phillies clubhouse.

Apparently some sleuth on the team (most likely Jimmy, as he controls the clubhouse music) found a Elmo playlist on strength and conditioning coach Dong Lien’s IPod.  That was all the players needed, and have been playing the song throughout their recent west coast trip, a trip where thus far they are 7-1.  Zolecki says it’s been keeping the players loose prior to games, hey whatever works fellas.  Keep fucking that chicken.

Todd’s link here…..http://zozone.mlblogs.com/2011/08/09/2132414/

Uncle Cholly

4 08 2011

Sir Whiskey Pickle, a contributor to the site returns with a whiskey infused idea….these are his words.

As a fan, when you purchase a sports jersey these days, there’s a lot that goes into deciding who’s jersey you’re going to wear. Obviously, you want to wear the jersey of your favorite player, but if you’re dedicated to spending $200+ of your hard earned cash on some hometown branded schwag, you want it to matter. You want it to say something about you as a fan. Retro jerseys are awesome. Why? Because they are timeless. If you see a Schmidt, Cunningham, Barkley or Hextall jersey, you know they mean something to the fan wearing it.
(sidenote-  much respect to anyone still rocking a Von Hayes Jersey)
[sub-sidenote-  to anyone posessing a Gary Gates jersey, please send a photo of your Wings awesomeness for recognition in your own post]
{super-sub-sidenote- any player tee-shirt will suffice to indicate your loyalty to any other “professional” philly sports team}
Often, the obvious player is too easy a choice. How many Halladay or Vick jerseys do you see these days? Much respect to both of their contributions to the team, but variety is the spice of life! Everyone wants a relevant, yet timeless jersey. Most of those McNabb jersey are in the deep recesses of the bottom drawer and while its fun to see a Burrell or Lindross jersey surface every now and then, you gotta be real in your choice of player love.
I propose another option. Charlie Manuel.
Fact #1: Charlie will drag you into his office for not running out a first to third even if you just hit the game winning home run in extra innings on the road.
Fact #2: Charlie could be the recipient of interracial, underage felacio in the center of Rittenhouse Square at noon on a Sunday and still receive an standing ovation.
Fact #3: Charlie Manuel Jerseys should be purchased and worn with pride with as much enthusiasm as any of the high priced stars on any team regardless of sport.
Think about it people. Any Reid IS the Eagles but even if NFL coaches wore jerseys, no one would ever fit into an XXXL Eagles sweater. I’d love to see a Collins Sixers jersey, but really…I’d rather wear a Mark Cuban jersey than anyone roaming the sidelines of a basketball court.
But in baseball, we are blessed with a sport where even Jack McKeon gets a discount on buying his own jersey when showing his AARP card. When the years pass and you’re telling the stories of today’s team to your kids, the only one you know who will never, ever test positive for Steroids, HGH, overactive training syndrome or any of that other horse garbage is the fat old bastard that has taught our Phils how to play tream ball.
The players make the plays but the manager, THIS MANAGER, is a cult hero. Have you ever seen a Yankees Fan wear a Torre Jersey? Who gives a shit about Terry Francona? Tony LaRussa’s own players don’t even like him!
I remember the days when you’d open a pack of baseball cards and ask your friends why the hell they’d even bother making the card of a manager. They generally don’t matter. Charlie matters. He’s a living legend. He’s the man. He’s a Phillie.
We Give a Fuck, Chuck!

Today Actually Happened

30 07 2011

What happens when professional sports start imitating fantasy sports? You’d be a Philadelphia sports fan. Life imitating art, beautiful.

I always thought Asomugha was black.

Aside from championship days in this town, today was hands down one of the most historic to happen in our sports world.  The Eagles came out of nowhere to sign the hands down best free agent on the market in Nnamdi Asomugha and then to complete the day our other GM assasin Reuben Amaro pulled Hunter Pence out of his ass without giving up either Domonic Brown or Vance Worley.  I had a tough time writing that previous sentence because it doesn’t seem real. You know?

Asomugha not only came here, but came here for what seems to be less money.  Nnamdi will get a 5 year deal worth 60 million with 25 million guaranteed.  That’s only one million more guaranteed than what the Jets signed Santonio Holmes for. “Experts” were predicting that Asomugha would get in the 18 million a year range, but he appears to have taken less to play in Eagles green. Not only that, NY lost out on another prized free agent……that ended up in PHILADELPHIA. Are you kidding me? I don’t think I can ever talk shit on Howie Roseman…EVER (Joe Banner jabs are just fun ya know?) THEN…..

Hunter Pence came to the Phillies from Houston for a package of Jarred Cosart, Johnathan Singleton, Josh Zeid and a player to be named later.  Oh yeah, the Astros are also giving the Phillies 1 million dollars….no seriously. That 1 million will allow the Phillies to stay under the luxury tax. Yes, that just happened. “Big Move” Reub has done it again and did it without giving up any current players.  The best team in baseball just got a lot, lot better. July 29th is just a day when Phillies get shit done, the past three July 29th’s have brought us Cliff Lee, Roy Oswalt and Hunter Pence.  As someone who grew up loving the Phillies in the 90’s, this shit blows my mind.  We already have a historic team and the best record but we weren’t satisfied.  Reuben sees a three-year championship window in front of him and he’s doing whatever is possible to GUARANTEE that we win. I love him.

Today, well today was a great day. That is all, nothing else you’ll read here you won’t elsewhere. 

Chooch Is Enjoying This Comeback

23 07 2011

This man just loves beisbol.


Roy Halladay Is Human

19 07 2011

It took about a year and a half of pitching in a Phillies uniform for Phillies fans to determine that he is in fact human.   I know, I was as shocked as everyone else that Halladay is not a robot. Halladay left last night’s game in the 5th inning after allowing 3 earned runs, due to heat exhaustion.

Halladay struggling last night.

At points in the night Halladay said he was even having a hard time seeing Chooch’s signs behind the plate.  That’s when you know your body is fighting a losing battle.  Looking back on it, Halladay even shook off Chooch once or twice which is something you rarely see.  In hindsight, Roy was probably having a tough time seeing those signs and not disagreeing with his catcher.  Halladay showed signs of wear early in the game, especially in the third inning where he seemed to get into deep counts with nearly every batter he faced.  Whereas his opposing pitcher, Rodrigo Lopez was able to have many pitcher friendly at bats, mostly due to the Phillies impatience.

A tip of the hat and veteran baseball move of the day goes to Phillies second basemen Chase Utley.  Utley has always been praised for high baseball intelligence and last night you saw that intelligence in full force.  Me believes it was the fourth inning when Utley noticed Halladay really laboring on the mound when he asked the second base umpire for a timeout. Why you ask? To tighten his all of a sudden mysteriously loose laces on his cleats.  Of course, that’s it. His shoes got loose around the same time as Halladay’s heat difficulties began. Utley I would imagine is about as great a teammate as a guy could have and that proved why.  Well done sir.

Halladay spent the majority of his career pitching in a temperature controlled environment in Toronto and has pitched over 200 games in his career under ninety degrees.  Although he has only pitched ten career games in heat over ninety degrees.  The heat it appears is Halladay’s only weakness.  We knew all along he had to have one, and it turns out we found it.  I always thought it was like puppy dogs or rainbows or something, not the heat.  Check out Halladay’s heat vs non heat career numbers….

Of course there is the All-Star theory out there, brought to you by Phillies pitching coach Rich Dubee…..

“He’s probably the last guy you’d expect something like this, but that’s what Mother Nature can do to you,” Dubee said. “It was awful hot. I’m not making excuses, but … guys that go to the All-Star Game — you’ve got to have the All-Star Game, I understand that — but guys that go to the All-Star Game, they come back a little drawn. It’s a busy three days. For that first week back, guys generally don’t respond too well. It’s just a hectic schedule. They fly out there, different time zones. You’ve got banquets. You’ve got whatever. And there’s a lot to it. This guy takes tremendous care of himself. He’s doing better now and that’s what we’re hoping for.” – Phillies.com

Normally I would disagree with him here, but after talking to Rick Burkholder, Philadelphia Eagles trainer, who says that flying absolutely drains your body’s fluids.  Halladay’s “break” for the All-Star game included flying from Philly to Arizona, Arizona to Philly and then traveling to NYC and then from NYC to Chicago.  All in a week’s time.  No doubt this most likely put some extra strain on Doc’s body and the man lost some of his bodily fluids and that combined with the heat was able to do what most teams can’t….beat him.

Can’t Wait To Get The Mail Today

13 07 2011

Chooch finally getting the recognition he deserves.  Gary Smith, perhaps the best sports writer there is, released his second story of a four part series on the Phillies this season. The focus of this particular story is Carlos Ruiz and the job he’s done with this pitching staff.  The first part of of this four part series focused on the pitchers and now we get to learn about the other side of the plate.  One of the stories following the Chooch one will focus on the Phillies fans and how they’ve transformed over the years.

It’s nice to see Ruiz get some love on the national level.  There will be many tidbits in the article that people would not have known otherwise.  Gary’s expertise in his story telling in getting deeper than most other “sports” authors and was able to get stories from Carlos that most other reporter wouldn’t be able to fish out.  Stories that myself had never heard and I’ve been covering Philly sports on a daily basis for four plus years.  Read this story…..Sports Illustrated.